Under My Skin
by sonicarutha
Summary: For fifty years Kira had looked at Hisagi, and for fifty years he never knew that he felt the same way. Now on a night full of despair and alcohol, the truth is finally revealed as the two finally share a loving kiss that leads to something more.


**Title: **Under My Skin  
**Pairings:** Hisagi/Kira  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, slight language, alcohol use, and a sex scene  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does. This is a request by **requiem266_, _**hope you enjoy this!

* * *

Devastation had filled the air. Nothing was going to change that feeling as Kira walked down the street. He knew that everything was going to change, but he never thought it would be like this. It all started when he heard that Hinamori was in the custody of the soutaichou, never to be seen by anyone until the thoughts of Aizen were cleansed from her mind. Then he saw Matsumoto start to fall as she would dose off for hours thinking of Ichimaru. Hurt was everywhere, but he never expected to find it where he did.

One day when he was walking by the 9th Division, something didn't seem right. He looked toward the building sensing that only more despair was in there, yet there was a familiar sense of despair, Kira rolling his eyes as he walked toward the building.

Kira walked into the room when he noticed something was not right in the 9th Division. It had been weeks since the departure of the three treacherous captains, all of those who were involved still reeling from all of the agony that had befallen them. Yet this was odd as Kira had thought that Hisagi was able to be above this and still be able to function. But as he walked in deeper, he knew it was different.

He looked at the 9th Division lieutenant, seeing something that he never thought that he would see before. There lay Hisagi, belly down on the floor in front of the desk, with a bottle of sake in his hand as he beat his feet together jollily.

"Are you drunk?" Kira asked as he looked at the other lieutenant, walking closer to him, observing the bottle of sake.

"Getting there…" Hisagi answered as he was about to take another swig.

"Stop that!" Kira yelled as he pulled the bottle from his colleague's clutch, his blue eyes burning as he looked at the lieutenant. "This isn't what you should be doing…"

Hisagi rolled onto his side as he let out a groan, closing his eyes. Kira couldn't stop looking at him. Something about him was different than he had always seen him. This was not the lieutenant that he had always talked to; this was someone else inside of the walls of the 9th Division, using Hisagi's body for shelter. There was nothing there that resembled him.

"Taking it hard again?" Kira asked as he placed the sake next to him, sitting down on the floor. "This is the third time you've gotten drunk over this…"

Hisagi chuckled as he shifted back onto his stomach, a soft sigh passing his lips. "This is the third time I've gotten drunk since I joined the 9th Division," he looked deeper into Kira's eyes. "Care to join me?"

"You know how I get when I drink."

"You get really cute," Hisagi giggled. _Giggled_, not laughed, _giggled_.

Kira scoffed as he moved closer to Hisagi, gazing into his eyes. He saw how helpless the lieutenant was. Hisagi Shuuhei was alone for the first time in a while. Something drew Kira to him; something made him want to drink out of the bottle that was in front of him. Something made his common sense fly out the window.

A sip turned into two, and two turned into half of the bottle as he passed it back and forth between him and Hisagi. Laughter clouded his judgment, slurred words robbed him of his sense, Kira was no longer taking control of his own actions, he was something out of this world as he drank the last sip of the sake in the bottle.

"So what are we going to do now?" Kira asked, his words starting to slur.

"I guess we have to wait to see what happens," Hisagi answered as he draw circles on the ground with his right index finger, Kira's eyes fixated on him. "This is going to take some adjusting to…"

"It's only going to get harder if you get drunk everyday," Kira explained, a smile on his face. "You're a real one for the alcohol…"

"You're one to talk…" Hisagi breathed, resting his chin on his hand, grinning at Kira. "I'm not the one with the rosy red cheeks, _Kira-kun_. Last time I checked I was still a _little_ sober."

"Please," Kira scoffed.

"I am," Hisagi breathed. "I've been drunker. The night when I lost my two comrades I went back to the Academy and drank all the sake I could get my hands on. _That_ was getting drunk," he closed his eyes as Kira looked at him. "You know it's times where you lose someone where you want to talk to someone or drink your sorrows away."

Kira took a deep breath. "Then why don't you just talk to someone."

"Because there's no one to talk to," Hisagi answered, looking away, sinking deeper into heartache. "No one would understand. Who would want to? All of this depressing talk is really pissing people off. No one understands"

"_I_ understand what you're going through."

"I guess you do, don't you," Hisagi breathed, his eyes closing. "Still, I never saw it coming. Tousen-taichou… he didn't seem like the type. He was so composed, so honorable, I never thought…" he took a deep breath. "I never thought I'd be alone."

"Ichimaru-taichou was the exact opposite. I was waiting for him to leave. Matsumoto-san said that he has a knack for it," Kira laughed, stopping immediately as he saw water starting to form in Hisagi's eyes. "Oh God, you're crying!"

"It's alright," Hisagi sniffled. "I swear it's just the alcohol."

Kira couldn't say anything to that as he looked into Hisagi's eyes. They were glistening so beautifully. He licked his lips as he saw the 9th Division lieutenant turn his face away from him, all of the words coming from his lips echoing through Kira's head. Hisagi was betrayed by his captain, no one saw it coming. The pain was so immense. Yet if Kira could take that pain away in a single moment, he would do it one thousand times until he was alive again. He moved his hand to Hisagi's cheek, stroking it lightly as the lieutenant turned to face him, looking into his eyes deeply as another tear fell down his cheek.

As they caught each other's eyes, they moved closer to one another, their breath becoming one. Then before they even could register what was happening, lips clashed in a passionate battle, tongues moving together as moans seeped from their bodies. Kira's head was reeling as he held onto Hisagi's cheeks tighter, feeling his saliva start to roll down his lips to fall upon his chin. Feeling Hisagi shudder in his arm made his heart race. But only a moment later, he found out what he had done.

"Kira?" Hisagi asked as Kira backed away. "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know…" Kira shook his head, his blush deepening its red hue. "I don't know…"

Hisagi grinned as he looked at the flustered lieutenant. "Don't be embarrassed, I'm not mad at you…"

"It's just…" Kira swallowed hard. "I-I've wanted to do that for fifty years…"

"You wanted to kiss me for fifty years?" Hisagi chirped.

"It doesn't mean I love you," Kira snapped.

"Or maybe you _do_."

"You think you're _so_ smart," Kira scoffed.

"You love me don't you?" Hisagi smiled again.

"You're out of your mind if you think that means I love you," Kira breathed. "It was a meaningless kiss…"

"_Meaningless_," Hisagi breathed. "Then why have you been waiting to do it for fifty years?"

Kira wanted to say something, but he couldn't. "This isn't right. You probably… I can't get myself… I can't… I don't want to hurt myself anymore. You… you don't look at me and see what I see when I look at you…"

Hisagi froze in place. "What do you see when you look at me?"

"Hisagi-san," Kira trembled, his blood starting to race through his body as he felt Hisagi moving closer to him. "Don't make me say anything if you aren't going to do anything about it…"

"What makes you think I'm not going to do anything about this? I haven't said a word," the smile on Hisagi's face sent chills down Kira's spine. "How do you know how I've looked at you for half a damn century? You don't know how difficult it is to look into your blue eyes and not think of you every minute of every hour. You don't know how crippling it is to be in your presence. Kira…" Hisagi swallowed harshly as if trying to put off the next set of words, each moment destroying the last amount of sober sanity that he had. "You don't know how much I've needed you…"

"Hisagi-san…" Kira breathed, feeling Hisagi move closer to him, capturing his lips in another tender kiss. Kira closed his eyes tightly as he felt Hisagi move his hands to dip them into his keikogi, electricity going through his body as the fingertips danced upon his chest. Kira's mind was slowly falling into the darkness as he grasped Hisagi's shoulders tightly.

"Kira…" Hisagi panted as he moved to kiss at Kira's neck. "Fifty long years, fifty years of me looking at you, wanting you, but now… now when I'm all alone, you're the only one… you're the only one who came to me. You're the only one…"

"You're the only who cares about me too. The comfort I get from you, it's more than I think I deserve…" Kira gasped as Hisagi's tongue moved along his pulse point. "D-damn it…"

Kira kissed him deeper as he felt Hisagi's hand up against his back, pulling him closer to his chest. Every heartbeat was intoxicating; every breath sent him deeper over the edge as the blood starting to run cold through his veins. He silently moaned Hisagi's name as the kissing deepened, the 9th Division lieutenant's gurgling overpowering every other sound that emerged from his partner.

"Hisagi-san," Kira purred as their lips parted, feeling Hisagi's forehead up against his, the warmth of his hands on his shoulder making him shudder. His head whirled as he looked into Hisagi's eyes. "I…"

Hisagi grinned. "I know…"

Kira's breath caught in his throat as he felt Hisagi's lips trail down his chest to his navel, the warm moisture of saliva made him shudder as he felt the 9th Division lieutenant's tongue up against his fair flesh, his hands moving to weave through Hisagi's dark hair, pulling at it harshly as he continued to ravish him. Throwing his head back, Kira let out a loud moan, his fingernails digging deeply into Hisagi's scalp. Electricity was coursing through his body as blood started to flow haphazardly as his heart raced. He was giving into his pleasure.

"H-Hisagi-san!" Kira felt his eyes start to water as Hisagi's lips voyaged back and forth from his chest to his stomach, leaving a warm trail of spit in his wake. He took a deep gasp of air, as Hisagi detoured, conquering his lips with a deep kiss.

"Hisagi-san…"

"Kira," Hisagi breathed as he pushed the 3rd Division lieutenant to the ground, his lips moving to nibble at his neck, Kira panting at the action.

Hisagi moved to rest in between Kira's legs, the warmth from within taunting him as he gasped for air, taking Kira's lips again. Passion took them prisoner, their minds taken away by alcohol and lust, their bodies moving against each other their pleasure colliding. Kira closed his eyes tightly as he tried to block out the screams and halt the shudders of his body, feeling Hisagi so close to him.

"Hisagi," he swallowed hard as he held onto Hisagi's shoulders, his voice shaking. "I want you to make love to me…"

Maybe it was the liquor, maybe it was lust, maybe it was the despair, but something had changed inside of Kira that day. He was no longer the lost animal that he had become, he was no longer the shy man who would never break the rules, now he looked at the rules and he crumpled them up. He looked into Hisagi Shuuhei's eyes and he knew that no matter what the rules were never going to apply again. He had lost his reserve.

But there was no time to go back, as Hisagi became hungrier, more aggressive toward Kira, his teeth moving to bite up against the blond lieutenant's lips, blood starting to seep out of the knick. Kira's body became limp as Hisagi moved his hands to fully take off the remainder of Kira's clothing, the lieutenant moaning as his clothes were discarded. Kira then started to fumble with Hisagi's keikogi, untying sloppily as he freed the shinigami's erection. As the clothes were undone, they stared at each other, as if casting the remainder of their regrets aside.

Kira closed his eyes as Hisagi was the first one to move, grasping another bottle of sake, pouring it onto his fingertips. The burn was amazing as Kira felt those liquor soaked fingers enter him, a cry escaping his lips as he threw his head back. He was taken by the movement of Hisagi's fingers, the pleasure they brought him as they explored him. Cries filled the room as he felt the digits push deeper into him. His heart raced with every movement that went through him, his breath stopping as he felt the fingers start to withdraw.

Kira closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. "Hisagi…"

"Shhh," Hisagi breathed as he let out a wince, the sting of alcohol pulsating through his body as he soaked the sensitive skin of his arousal. "Fuck…"

Time stopped as Hisagi moved closer to him, Kira looking deep into the other lieutenant's eyes as if asking each other for final approval. It was silently given. Hisagi made the first move into Kira, the lieutenant crying out in a combination of rapture and anguish, his heart racing as he felt Hisagi so deep inside of him. His eyes closed as he savored the feeling, understanding all of the anticipation that had been running through his body. This was everything that he wanted, this was his bliss.

Hisagi's hands were tight on Kira's hips as he pulled him closer, penetrating him deeper. Breath oozed from his lips like liquid with every movement, harsh gasps escaping his lungs as Hisagi moved hardly into him, his arm reaching to grasp his arms, moving slightly into each thrust.

"Hisagi!" Kira howled as he swallowed, biting his lip as his body shuddered in pleasure. "Harder!"

Kira's legs tightened around the older shinigami's waist as he took a deep breath, feeling Hisagi's pulse speed up. Bruises formed on his hips as Hisagi squeezed tighter, his body clenching at the sensations that were going through his body. Every thrust, every moan, every breath that escaped their lips drove him deeper into insanity as he felt his breath catch in his throat, Kira was getting closer to orgasm.

"H-Hisagi-san…" Kira breathed. "I… I…"

Kira arched his back into Hisagi as the pleasure increased, now sitting in his lap, feeling Hisagi's arousal even deeper within him. Hands moved to wrap around bodies as the fervor increased, breath starting to come to a halt as the pace increased. Kira moved harsher up against Hisagi's thrusts, both of them moaning at the friction between them.

"Hisagi-san!" Kira moaned as his eyes closed tightly, tears rolling down his cheeks, feeling his orgasm right before him. "Harder…"

As Kira came, his body shuddered, his teeth digging into his lip as he buried his face in Hisagi's shoulder hearing him moan at the sensation of Kira giving into pleasure. After the few moments of elation, Kira felt his body start to fall limp as he moved harsher up against Hisagi's body, his teeth piercing into Hisagi's flesh coupled with his fingernails digging into his back, hearing the 9th Division lieutenant moan loudly.

"Kira!" Hisagi moaned as he came soon after, pushing into Kira as hard and deep as he could, feeling the other lieutenant tighten at the sensation that went through his body. Both of them clutched onto each other as their bodies relaxed, their muscles aching. But with their last ounce of strength they moved to kiss lips one more time, their lips quivering with the final sensation of elation.

"That was _amazing_…" Kira smiled, running a hand through Hisagi's sweat moistened hair, holding him close to his chest. "I…"

Hisagi chuckled as he caressed his shoulder. "I know what you're going to say, and you don't have to say it," he placed a kiss on his trembling flesh. "I feel the same way."

Kira rose from Hisagi's lap and went to gather his clothes, thinking about what just happened. He had concealed this for fifty years, but in only a few moments he made all of his dreams occur. He glanced at Hisagi who was also scrambling to get his clothes, both of their eyes meeting, and at the second, that exact glance, they knew that this was more than a meaningless encounter, this was the start of something that was only going to grow. This was the first light of the sunrise.

"Hisagi-san," Kira bowed his head. "What happens now? Do we go back to our lives?"

"Can you?" Hisagi asked. "_I_ can't…"

"So what do we do?" the 3rd Division lieutenant asked.

"We stay like this," the other lieutenant answered. "We stay with each other… we're all we have now."

Kira smiled as he felt all of his dreams come true. "I have been waiting half a century for you to say that."

The two then moved to embrace each other as a knocking came upon the door, Hisagi's subordinates asking if everything's alright. The voices grew with every second as if the whole division had suddenly grown a concern for their lieutenant after cries filled the air. Still Hisagi ignored them as he kissed Kira's lips again, his arms wrapping around the tremulous lieutenant. Something that Kira thought was meaningless turned into something that he never wanted to let go. And as Hisagi kissed deeper at his lips, he knew he never could.

So there they stayed, on the 9th Division floor as the knocks on the door grew louder, the voices growing more concerned, kissing each savoring the moment where they final able to get under their skin. The dark blanket of despair was starting to lift.

* * *

Most of the ideas were requested by requiem (like the sake for lube) but I took my own liberites throughout here and there. If you all have any requests, I would be glad to take them. I hope you liked this, this was my first attempt at a request.


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